My Tinder Adventure
It all started in the Fall of 2012. I had just broken up with my boyfriend of four years (The EMF or Ex Man Friend). After the break-up I had taken some time to find myself. A trip to Hawaii helped with this, where a friend of mine had me sign up for OKCupid. Little did I know that the world of online dating would, over the course of a year and a half, render me two short term relationships, a number of failed attempts at connecting with people and over 75 first dates.
I live in New York City. A place where there are countless interactions every single day and meeting people should be easy. But it’s not. New Yorkers are notorious for being closed off and unapproachable. And while I find that this is a somewhat misleading critique, it is true that meeting “Mr. Right” can be quite difficult. You see, New York has a plethora of single women and far, far fewer single men. This spring Huffington Post announced that there were 150,000 more single women than men in New York (and then suggested that we ladies consider flying across the country to find a date). So the numbers are not in our favor.
On top of that, numbers like the ones above don’t take into account things like education, income, height etc. So for someone who had a tendency to date tall, dark haired, blue eyed, engineering and pre law school students in college, the range in even smaller. I knew all of this as I set about signing up for various online dating websites. However I’m an optimistic lady and several years working retail has given me the skills to chat with almost everyone. “At the least” I thought, “I will meet some interesting people and have some stories to tell my friends”. I decided to sign up for ALL the dating websites, well maybe not all of them, but a good number. I set up accounts on Match.com, Plenty of Fish, OKCupid, and How About We. Recently, I also joined Tinder and met with a Matchmaker just for kicks (and because she seemed awesome).
More than a year after that first OKCupid log in, I was chatting with my friend Kristi* “You should really start a blog about all these dates you go on” she said “I would totally read it.” After talking to some friends, two exes, my brother and a prospective suitor, and taking a facebook poll about the issues that come with blogging your dating life, I decided to give it a go.
I’ll do my best to keep this blog as honest as possible without revealing an details that might give my date’s personal information away. In some instances if you know me personally you might know who I am talking about from time to time, but hopefully the whole internet won’t.
I’m also going to talk a lot about gender and how we express that in dating. I studied the subject at length in college and it would be hard not to at least mention it from time to time.
I’m going to do my best to give advice to the men out there. I’ve walked away from several bad dates knowing that the guy didn’t have a clue why he had struck out (mostly because I’m too polite to throw glasses of water in people’s faces when they are being rude). Hopefully some little tidbits of advice will help someone else out there not make the mistakes that these blokes did.
Lastly, these opinions are purely my own based on personal experiences. Other women might be looking for something completely different. I’ll do my best to acknowledge that throughout this experiment.
That’s it, that’s me. Have fun reading and let me know what you think!