My Tinder Adventure
The other night I was out and about in LA. It was a Saturday and a friend asked if I’d meet her at a bar after I wrapped up at my party so that she could have a wing woman (she was meeting a fellow and some of his friends). Always down to do a solid for a friend I told her I’d meet her at the bar at 11.
As it turns out I was the first one there, so I ordered a glass of wine and started chatting with the cute bartender…the really cute, blond, curly-haired, surfer/bartender. Did I mention he was cute? As we were chatting my friend showed up and a few min later the guy and his friend. We chatted, the friend headed out and around 1am the fellow started hinting at it getting late (lets be clear he was interested in getting my girlfriend alone). She seemed interested in following him home. I still had a bit left in my glass and had been exchanging looks with the bartender so I said “It’s totally cool, you guys go ahead I’ll finish this glass and head home”. I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to keep flirting with the surfer dude behind the bar.
Let me be clear, this was a great plan, but sometimes plans don’t go as expected. My friend’s boo was a gentleman and wouldn’t think of leaving me behind to finish drinking by myself! So they decided to stay and let me finish. I had been thwarted.
So my friend and her boo waited till I was done then walked me out. At the corner we parted ways. I started to cross to my car then stopped. “What are you doing! You are only in town for a few weeks. Go back and flirt with that cute fellow” I told myself. So I turned around and marched back in.
I walked right up to the bar caught his eye and said “Hey, so I’m new to LA and in town for a month, I’d love your advice on what I should do around here.” (It was only a half lie guys!). He started to answer, “Well have you checked out the Broad Museum?” “I haven’t! Is it good.” (This was true, I haven’t gone yet). “Absolutely, they have a great exhibit on.” OMG, he was cute and cultured and surfed, my kinda man. My next line was going to be “Would you like to go sometime? I do need a tour guide…” But before I could utter the words, out of left field, the guy sitting next to me turned “You know what’s a really good museum? The Getty.” I looked at him a bit stunned…”I’m sorry?”
Interrupter launched into a description of the museum’s various qualities. The bartender smiled and moved down the bar to serve someone else.
After about 20min of listening and making polite conversation witht he interupter I realized there was no hope for making an impression with surfer dude that night. The cute bartender was outside chatting with one of the other servers and I was just done. I walked out. “Night guys” I waved back at them. “Hey,” The surfer/bartender/hottie called out and extended his hand “I’m Jake*”. “Nice to meet you Jake, I’m M*. I’ll be back another night.” We smiled at each other and I headed home.
I didn’t make it out for the next week, but on pride weekend I headed back to the bar. The surfer wasn’t there so I ordered a glass of wine figuring I’d have a quick drink. “Hey, the pizza here is good too.” I found myself in conversation with 2 awkward 25 year-old men who had no idea how to flirt with a woman almost 10 years older than themselves. “What do you do?” They asked, “Oh I work in film” I said trying to brush them off, “Like porn? Are you a porn star?” I stared at them. “No, not porn.”
“Do you want to come to a party with us.” I looked them dead on, “I think I’m a little old for you.” “Oh,” they looked down. I finished quickly and excused myself, the bartender (who had been there the previous night) giving me a knowing smile and wink as I asked for my check.
So basically guys, I found purgatory. It’s a bar, where everyone tries to pick me up except for the one guy I’m trying to chat up, who is either not there, or keeps having to interrupt our conversations to go pour the other guys beer. It’s hell.